If God is not a part of your relationship then it will not stand. It will not stand the test of time, and it will not stand the trials and tribulations of life, and the difficulties of this world. Life can be tough. This means that to live in this world means to go through difficulties. Everybody has had a tough time at one point or another. Something they have had to overcome, or are still in the process of overcoming. No one has had it perfect. Even though most think; “I am the only one that is going through this.” This is not true and can become an unhealthy mindset. When individuals have this in their hearts it hinders their relationship with God as well as their relationship with others. Everybody has had to overcome something in their life, even if you don’t see it, or you were not there to experience it with them.
There is even an example of this in the Bible. In the book of 1 Kings there was a prophet of God named Elijah who was fleeing from an evil Queen named Jezebel who wanted to kill him. This was happening because he served and obeyed God and the Queen did not. While Elijah was running for his life, he sat down under a tree and decided that he wanted to die. God spoke to him and asked him what he was doing, and Elijah went on to tell God that he serves the Lord and now he is being pursued unto death, and that he is the only one left. God spoke to him about many things and then shared with him that there were seven thousand others who were in his same situation. God told him to get up and go do what He had commanded him.
What is the moral of this story? You are not alone in your trials and tribulations; and although you may have had difficult experiences in your life, it is still your responsibility to obey God and make the proper choices for your life. We all have choices before us that we must make on a daily basis. It is our choices that will determine our future. How does this tie in with relationships? Without having an individual walk with God, both serving Him and obeying Him, we cannot make it through life successfully, or have a prosperous marriage. With marriage you not only have the responsibility for yourself, but someone else as well. It is no longer only about you, but about the other person in your life.
In a Godly marriage you must consider your spouse over yourself, and when both individuals choose this, they will have a selfless and Godly marriage. God must be first in your heart individually, and then first in your lives corporately as a couple. Only when God is first in our lives can we truly love our spouse the way God intended us to. In Ephesians 5:21-25 we see this; “And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” Most people read this passage through a veil. Many women see this and respond by saying, “I am not going to be controlled by any man no way,” and from the men it is, “a woman better do what I say.” These are both wrong and not what the Scripture reveals to us.
First it starts by saying we need to, “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” It does not work unless first both individuals revere Jesus Christ. Only then will they even choose to submit to each other. After both having a reverence for Christ and a submissive heart towards one another, then a woman should submit to her husband as head of the home. This does not mean that he is the boss of her, but that he is the spiritual head of the home, and with this comes a great responsibility and accountability for him from God. This means for you to support him in his decisions for the family, to trust that he is seeking God, and to carry yourself with a soft heart towards him. Men, for your wife to feel safe submitting to you in this manner you need to be like Christ in the fact that He loved the Church so much he was willing to die for her.
If you love your wife in this manner she will know that you will never abuse your authority in the household. Ladies, there is great strength that will come to you from God in your obedience before the Lord in this matter. Also, by carrying yourself in this manner you will be able to win over your husbands, who do not know or serve the Lord. For the Bible says in 1 Peter that by your pure and reverent life your husband will be won over; and your Godly life will speak to him without words. The Bible recounts that the great women of faith carried themselves in this manner. Only when you are submitted to God in this manner, will your prayers of faith have effect. For men the Bible says you are to give honor to your wives, and to treat her as an equal partner. If you do not your prayers will be hindered. In the end if we are submitted to God in our hearts He will lead us through the difficulties of life, help us to overcome the pitfalls that can come with marriage, and teach us how we can be a better husband or wife. We encourage you to seek the Lord this day concerning your life and marriage.
You can start by praying this prayer aloud to Him;
Lord forgive me of my sins, and wash me clean with Your blood. I ask that You would help me to be a better husband/wife, and that You would teach me and lead me in this. I pray for my spouse and I ask that You would forgive me for wronging them in any way and I forgive them for wronging me. Lead me unto righteousness and reveal to me Your path for my life, and for our marriage. I submit my life to Jesus Christ, and choose to serve You and obey You this day.
In Jesus Name I pray,